Missing Link

As each of us gets older we become more aware and sensitive to the world around us.  Most of us realize the importance of the sense of peace and actively seek it.   The wisdom of age creates for us a greater respect for the element of time and the life it allows us to live.  And we often reflect on issues that plague the destruction of humanity, because we fear them and feel they will effect us.

My years as elementary school teacher allow me to look back and reflect on a searing problem that has evolved to a pinnacle of irresponsibility.  I always began each school year by allowing students to  become familiar with and totally understand my philosophy on school behaviors.   For many years and much more often than I ever thought was acceptable,  there would always be several students who would respond to the school’s most important policy: “Keep hands, feet, and all objects to yourself”.  It was simple and easy to understand, yet there seemed to be some resistance and justification for not following this rule.  And, time and time again I would hear the same rationale.  My mom said, ‘ if somebody hits me, I better hit them back’.

I would always revert to my planned answer, and respond by saying  ‘mom made that rule for home, but in school we have  different rules, and those rules must always be followed, since we must all follow the rules in the place that demands its’ respect’.  I knew it was an attempt for moms to initiate a defense mechanism, so they could feel they had prepared their child for conflict. Yet, this standard answer for a not so standard set of behaviors does little to save anyone from the ensuing reaction after retaliation to the initial assault.

We have a moral responsibility to change the way we prepare our children for life.  The future of mankind truly depends on it.  Every child in every place under the sun, demands our firm, but loving guidance and should grow learning the importance of communication to resolve their issues.  And, whether we believe it or not, every child wants to know their limits.   But, these things must be taught and that is where we as parents and a society fall extremely short.

We must be cognizant that if we do not take responsibility for our part in the present status of our children’s behavior, then we will doom ourselves.  We can see it coming, because all we have to do is look around.  So, how do we begin?  Well, we all know the answers, yet we do little to demonstrate that we know.  ~  Love your child, hug them a lot, be patient with them, spend quality time with them, introduce them to a positive belief system as early as possible, do not criticize them especially in front of others, but encourage and uplift them, praise them for their accomplishments, expose them to positive explorations, keep your connection by asking about their daily experience, respect and guide them, allow for positive interaction with their peers, be honest and fair, and enjoy laughing together.

Our wisdom should allow us to reflect on what in our own childhood  we would not want our children to experience and endure. Then, we must gauge our strategies of parenting,  so that we pass to them the recipe for peace and a contented life.

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